Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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