chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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