careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize
