i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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