it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
