I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize