Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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