Small penises have feelings too.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
