haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize