Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
