haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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