She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
We talked him into tasing himself.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
