Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Just pee around me
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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