then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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