I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
