so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
