ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
