is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
