I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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