my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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