absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
