maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
