I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
