Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
