guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
