Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
