Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
That was before I lit my hair on fire
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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