so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
