some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
it's great music for shaving your balls
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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