actually, I'm a sock model
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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