Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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