I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Randomize
