I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize