I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
