I feel like I'm in dance class right now
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
