I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
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