i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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