Your tits are I can't wait for
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
