I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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