my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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