If i come over, it means nothing
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
