Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
