You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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