you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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