I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
