I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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