BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
