I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
