i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
