i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
so let's talk penis.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
