she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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