We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
