never play flip cup with pint glasses
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
