im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
