I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
