What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
