sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
