dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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